neglected

rejected 

never taken care of

always taking care of myself

crying eyes

stuffy nose

trembling breath

and no one cares

fathers that are not there 

mothers that have too much to care

we grew up differently after being forgotten in the aftercare.

I took the train

and I cried

then I got up 

and I walked

until my calfs started burning

and I tried to run

but my jeans were too tight

and my bones felt like breaking

so I call an uber and

wait for the bus

whatever comes first

I got up in the bus

cancelled the uber

wait for my stop, it's close

everything burns

everything breaks

I got off the bus

I walk home

minding the puddlees and the cars and the holes in the ground that became puddlees and the cars that run through them and I wish I wasnt born as I am. 

It's that time of the year again

your face and your name haunts my thinking 

like thats all I could be dreaming 

but to be fair

it feels more like a nightmare

the kinds we 

feel scared

when you keep falling

into nothing

and wake up 

with a scream almost

getting out of your 

neck.

 

Mais um pra me deixar confuso. 

Dessa vez você também disse que me amava, 

seus olhos enchiam de lágrimas, 

"eu nunca quis te machucar"

eu tu e eles

tudo existe neles

no meio deles

entre parênteses 

escondido entre dentes

visível nas pences

Choro grito dor

Mão mão dedos

Tocar apertar sentir

Medo agonia desespero

entre dedos

um sorriso mal feito

um defeito

uma mensagem de dentro

e você 

que só aparece

pra me desfazer